Or, To Kribi and Back Again
While in the second of two five-hour buses required to travel from Bansoa, West Cameroon to Kribi, South Cameroon (not counting the taxis to Bafoussam, across Bafoussam, or across Yaoundé), I was pondering the joys of traveling. In my mind, I attempted to grade the delightful qualities of these public transportation mini-buses, commonly called "coasters." But even three hours into the trip I had not decided on a ranking because that implies that some characteristics are better or worse than others, and yet they are all so excellent! Here are a few examples, in no particular order of course.
1. Toasty Warmth
Though I have never participated in this "hot yoga" phenomenon, I'm willing to bet it has nothing on a 25-seat coaster packed with 40 steamy adults and their various offspring. Especially when all the windows are firmly shut lest a wool-wrapped and snugly-capped baby catch pneumonia from that light breeze stirring the sunny, mid-80s, and humid weather of the center region. Think of all the benefits of that sweating! All the toxins and free radicals we are releasing from our pores! All the weight we are losing! Cheaper than a one hour session of bikram yoga and five times as long! Most excellent.
2. Intriguing Scent
With the image above firmly in mind, I'm sure you can imagine the delightful aroma filling this bus. I can't compare it with the gym room post-hot-yoga, but I can tell you that the YMCA group workout room smells a bit similarly after a Spin class and Bodypump class go back to back. Except that mixed into the smell exuding from forty sweating adults is smoked fish and baton de manioc (which itself smells something like sourdough starter mixed with two day old socks). Someone should bottle this scent, title it Sous le Soleil Africain and sell it as the next French haute couture (I believe that is pronouced "hot cul-toor") perfume. In addition to this brilliant business idea, we are all benefiting from inhaling each others' pheromones, probably falling in love left and right. Nothing is more romantic than a lightly perfumed coaster ride!
3. Titillating Music
I don't know how much you know about Cameroonian music. As you are probably not Cameroonian, the answer is probably "not much." Now, there is a lot of crummy Cameroonian and Nigerian music that just makes you want to get up and dance - check out Coco Argentée or P-Square or X Maleya - but then there's a lot of truly inspirational and catchy music. Sometimes it's in local languages! Sometimes it's questionably downloaded with a DJ inserting unintelligible commentary and shout-outs with the mike on max echo. Sometimes it's an educational pop song whose sing-along chorus is "Roads don't kill people, people kill people when they make mistakes! Whether you're in a car, walking, or riding a moto, be prudent!" Everyone together now. Truly inspiring! The best is when it's a mix of all the above, played loud enough to vibrate the seats loose from where they are bolted into the floor. Eight a.m. party bus, at no extra charge!
4. Cozy Comfort
Have you heard of African solidarity? It's so wonderful. Who needs personal space when you could serve as your neighbor's pillow, arm rest, ottoman, and/or elbow depository? Personally, I was seated with three other adults and one restless (and surprisingly ugly) one-year-old in a row comprised of two proper seats and a makeshift aisle seat. Oh, and there was that really really short guy curled up in a ball on floor under the window, so the police wouldn't stop us and fine the driver at any of the 9 checkpoints we stopped at en route. Honestly, it's a mystery to me why we travel the way we do in America when we could all enjoy the innumerable benefits of group travel. Not only does it teach patience and encourage physical flexibility, it also saves money and gas. Save the planet! Never feel alone! Yay!
The only things missing from this trip were a small child vomiting on the floor (or their mom or their neighbor) and everyone being shooed off the bus for a thirty minute long id check that only results in gendarmes getting some "beer money" (wink wink).
The Part About Kribi
With all these high points, you're probably wondering how Kribi could live up to the joy of the trip to arrive there. Good question. I tried to keep my expectations reasonable. With our own private cove on the luxuriously warm Atlantic ocean, surrounded by palm trees and fun-to-climb rocks, a free mansion to stay in (complete with running water, fridge, and air conditioning), the best fish I've ever tasted, and so much sunshine… It was really pretty disappointing. I probably won't go back. In two weeks.
Glad to hear you enjoyed Kribi! I just had to complete hours of automotive travel myself with a return trip looming in the future. Unfortunately I'll be all alone, perfumeless and if I want to hear any music I'll have to choose it myself. I wont get to hear any DJ shoutouts! I'll be thinking about you and I'll be jealous the whole way back. <3
ReplyDeletetry Fela Kuti
ReplyDeleteGood morning, how are you?
ReplyDeleteMy name is Emilio, I am a Spanish boy and I live in a town near to Madrid. I am a very interested person in knowing things so different as the culture, the way of life of the inhabitants of our planet, the fauna, the flora, and the landscapes of all the countries of the world etc. in summary, I am a person that enjoys travelling, learning and respecting people's diversity from all over the world.
I would love to travel and meet in person all the aspects above mentioned, but unfortunately as this is very expensive and my purchasing power is quite small, so I devised a way to travel with the imagination in every corner of our planet. A few years ago I started a collection of used stamps because trough them, you can see pictures about fauna, flora, monuments, landscapes etc. from all the countries. As every day is more and more difficult to get stamps, some years ago I started a new collection in order to get traditional letters addressed to me in which my goal was to get at least 1 letter from each country in the world. This modest goal is feasible to reach in the most part of countries, but unfortunately, it is impossible to achieve in other various territories for several reasons, either because they are very small countries with very few population, either because they are countries at war, either because they are countries with extreme poverty or because for whatever reason the postal system is not functioning properly.
For all this, I would ask you one small favour:
Would you be so kind as to send me a letter by traditional mail from Cameroon? I understand perfectly that you think that your blog is not the appropriate place to ask this, and even, is very probably that you ignore my letter, but I would call your attention to the difficulty involved in getting a letter from that country, and also I don’t know anyone neither where to write in Cameroon in order to increase my collection. a letter for me is like a little souvenir, like if I have had visited that territory with my imagination and at same time, the arrival of the letters from a country is a sign of peace and normality and an original way to promote a country in the world. My postal address is the following one:
Emilio Fernandez Esteban
Calle Valencia, 39
28903 Getafe (Madrid)
Spain
If you wish, you can visit my blog www.cartasenmibuzon.blogspot.com where you can see the pictures of all the letters that I have received from whole World.
Finally, I would like to thank the attention given to this letter, and whether you can help me or not, I send my best wishes for peace, health and happiness for you, your family and all your dear beings.
Yours Sincerely
Emilio Fernandez